My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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