He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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