I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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