But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
