They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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