Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
