fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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