We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Buhtt sex?
farters have to be the big spoon...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
