dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
