i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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