JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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