Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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