just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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