Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
