she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
