Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
