Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
