If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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