Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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