I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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