yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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