Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
