At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
