took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
God, I missed his penis.
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