...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
