I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
