I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
