it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
