I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
