Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
