I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
