Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
