Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
