And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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