no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
