There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
