yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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