I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
