I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
