ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
