You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
