the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
