Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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