just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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