Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
