I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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