I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize