if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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