is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
