Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
