There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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