I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
