i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
