It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
