Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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