It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
