they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
