I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
