I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
