But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
